Friday, June 1, 2012

A Note on Society and my Previous Post

I would like to strongly acknowledge that there are single fathers out there, families with two fathers, no fathers and no mothers, all of which have people who work extremely hard to make the family work.  My post is personal, about my family and my mother, and it is not to suggest those things do not exist.  It is also not to diminish the role of the father in a household with a father and a mother, and not to belittle my father.  (My father is an amazing man.  He could be more helpful occasionally, but the reality is that he works longer hours than my mother and spends a great deal of time maintaining our yard and the physical issues with our house- our house is, by accident and preference, not by force, very gender-normative).

I would also like to recognize that, for the vast majority of women today, the situation I described is what is expected, is life, and is probably an ideal life for some of them.  Women are obligated by society to maintain their homes first, even when allowed to have a career.  They are afforded little thanks for this work, and stay-at-home mom's are often seen as lazy, having fun days at the park with their children, because clearly being a mother is not work.  Women who have a career are expected to be both stellar at their job and stellar at home or people will criticize them.  This is not true of men.

I know that there are more and more exceptions every day, and I know that most women choose to have both a career and children.  However, they often make sacrifices that are not expected of men, and often work what is essentially two full time jobs.  I have no solution to this problem, I just wanted to talk about it, and I wanted to remind myself and others to do a little of what we can to take some of the immense pressure off the women in our lives.

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